Shortcut to Happiness #3
Social Connections
Can we increase our social connection, and does that increase our happiness?
So, this is what Nick Epley and his colleagues have looked at. Nick has an awesome book called Mind Wise about how we go wrong predicting other people’s minds, and he did a very fun intervention with folks who are on train and just had them try to talk to strangers and increase social connection with strangers.
What people predict is probably what some of you might predict which is that the solitude condition is the best, and when you have to actually talk to somebody on the train, it’s going to make you feel weird. But what actually happens is, in fact, is just the opposite. In fact, it just makes us happier. They get a big boost in positivity when they do the connection.
Ed Diener and Marty Seligman did a research and found that very happy people have more close friends, strong family ties and better marriages. Researchers find unhappy people spend more time alone and happy people spend more time with family and friends.
So, if we go and talk to somebody in the train while we travel, What happens to the person who’s talked to?
Research says it’s better for them. The social connection is better than the solitude for both of them. The people you talk to are going to be happier too, even though you don’t realize that. What researchers are finding is that just the act of being with somebody can increase happiness. Just being around other people makes us happier.
Research shows that happy people spend more time with others and have a richer set of social connections.
And so, the upshot is that, even finding social connections, not just the ones we care the most – our family and friends – which obviously are going to increase happiness, even these random ones are going to help us out more than we think. So, Talk to the people on the street, talk to the people that are around you. It will make you and them happier than you expect
Try to focus on making one new social connection per day. It can be a small 5-minute act like sparking a conversation with someone on public transportation, asking a coworker about his/her day. At least once this week, take a whole hour to connect with someone you care about. Also take steps to increase your social connections. Try taking 5 minutes out of your busy Schedule and connect with someone that you really care about. Did you feel better after the connection?
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